Moments of Impact

   A moment, one moment can change your life, your day, your plans!! You can have a schedule made, & plans on your calendar for the next 6 weeks, BUT one moment of impact can change ALL that. I experienced one of those moments last Sat. nite. when I was playing basketball with Madison (& he was so proud of me for it- he said "hey mom, I havent' seen you do anything like this for a while." And as I scorred on a lay-up he says, "wow your pretty good too.") So we were just enjoying this little competition & I went up in the air to get the ball that was over his head, & I don't know if it was my flip-flop, or if I tripped over Madison, or if I'm just plain clumsy, but somehow I manage to come down with ALL my weight on the side of my foot. POP!! Moment of Impact!!! The next thing I knew, I was on the ground writhing in pain, & ever since then I've been hopping, crawling, & using crutches to get around. I went for x-rays on Mon. to find out that I broke a bone in my right foot. So that moment of impact changed my week, & possibly the next several weeks. Dr. said to take it easy for three weeks, which doesn't sound bad compared to folks who are laid up much longer than that, BUT I am a mother of 4 active children (1 one & a half year old in particular), so sitting around with my foot propped is not exactly ideal. However, I have a lot to be thankful for, I am not in constant pain, the break did not require a cast, & I have a husband, children, mother, family & friends who have pitched in to help!! And in all reality, my moment of impact seems minor compared to some of the families who have experienced the loss of a loved one is recent weeks. I think of the families that are facing the same kinds of challenges we are, but not because mom is sitting on the couch with her foot propped, but because mom is not there & she won't be returning. These families "moments of impact" were FOREVER life changing, one minute they were a happy, complete family & the next instant they were making funeral plans, then standing over a grave bidding their young mother good-bye.
  Moments of impact can change our plans, & our lives!! And they can be reminders that we are not in control!! It's important to wake up each morning & be grateful, & to not take a moment for granted!! And plans & schedules are a good thing, but it's so important that we don't make ourselves to busy to live in the  moment. Take the time to smell the roses, call someone you love & tell them so, hug a child, play basketball with your son :), & enjoy the sunset!!!!

Be Real

  You all know that if I story I tell has anything to do with our MaKayla, it's usually pretty funny. Well the story I'm going to tell about something she said the other day is funny, but to me it had a much deeper meaning then the incident itself. What she said was so profound & great reminder tome to "be real". Here's the story... I was dressing her & she had discovered a jumper (dress) that she had never worn before. She wanted to wear it, but I couldn't find a shirt that matched to wear underneath it. So I tried to explain to her that I had no shirt to match, I said "you need a red or blue one to wear with it". Not to be put off she pulled an orange shirt out of the drawer & said "Let's just say this one is red". The shirt was clearly orange, & she knew that it was, but she wanted to say it was red!!! Think about that- we can be just like that. We have gotten to the place where we know truth, but we want to change it to suit our liking. Or sometimes we try to convince people we are something that we're not. Or another way to look at it is, sometimes when someone asks us how we are doing, we reply "I'm fine" when we are really NOT fine. We have decided that like MaKayla we will try to convince ourselves & others to see us or things the way we want them too & not really the way they are. All the while we know it's not true, but we hope they don't notice. Or we simply hope to convince them that it's red and not orange.
  Dutch & I both try to live our lives so that people can see our "true colors". We don't want to twist the truth, or try to make things appear the way they are not. It is so important to be REAL. No one is perfect, we all know that, so why try to appear to be. If you want to wear the orange shirt that doesn't match, then wear it, but don't try to convince people that it's red!!
 **Credits to MaKayla who in her own little way inspired this blog. It was a great reminder to me...

To exercise or not, that is the question!!??!!

  The Holy Spirit & my husband have been talking to me about healthier living, eating, etc. The Holy Spirit has been coming to me about the aspect of eating healthier foods, reading labels, making healthier choices at the grocery store, etc. And it's not the first time I've felt convicted about this. Every so often I read another book about it & then I make a conscious effort to do better, but eventually I succumb to being like everyone else again & go about my grocery shopping without a hitch. But I am always fascinated with people that make everything from scratch, & live off the land, etc. That whole bit of healthier living appeals to me, in fact I've tried my hand at making some of my own healthier foods lately instead of buying them & it was fun, I had a real sense of accomplishment about it. BUT it's the whole bit (the part that my husband has been talking to me about) about exercising that has me a little worked up. I just don't like it. Guess I'm just not very driven when it comes to that. And while I know that running is the exercise of choice these days, I just can't seem to get on board with it. So when my husband sweetly mentions that I need to exercise more, I'm not very thrilled about it. First of all is he concerned about my health or is he implying that I'm a little on the fluffy side? Should I be offended about the comment or thankful that he cares?? Well I love what Madison said when he overheard Dutch mention my needing to exercise, he said... "Dad, don't you remember the song that Matt Lapp sang at the Talent Show a couple years ago? He sang a song that said "If you want to live a long and happy life, these are the things you don't say to your wife- hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear end??" Thanks Madison, that's such a good reminder for your dad!!!!
  But on a serious note- I have been making a conscious effort to eat better, & to see that my children do too. And another goal is to see how we can cut the grocery bill down, so we've made our own yogurt, granola, & cornmeal mush. We've been eating rice more too. It has been fun to make tasty, healthier meals all the while spending less. The other night, I marinated cubes of deer steak that we made in the skillet, found a pretty tasty rice recipe online, & steamed some broccoli. We loved it & it didn't cost much at all to make it!! For dessert we had homemade waffles & Lapp Valley ice cream!! (not sure how healthy the dessert was)!
  And on a serious note about the whole exercising bit- I know that if I would ask the Lord, He would give me the will-power to exercise. I guess I've been putting it off to ask Him because when He gives me the will-power then I won't have any more excuses!!

Adjusting

  I cried the day we left the Haft, & I was pretty close to tears the other night when I looked at pictures from Dan & Connie Lapp who moved to the Haft the weekend after we left. Just seeing their pictures brought back so many memories!! Yes, it has been hard to let go of the life we had there, BUT I found that I have been taking advantage of some oppurtunities here in Lancaster that I took for granted before. When you have things at your fingertips, sometimes you don't even take advantage of them. For starters, I've enjoyed having a Starbucks ;) two minutes from my house as apposed to an hr. away. Now instead of having one once a month like I did over the past yr., I can now have one once a week. (my kids won't allow me to have more than one in a wk., they know how much they cost- not to mention tho that I was blessed w/ several Starbucks gift cards for C-mas!!!) Now, I'm not a HUGE Starbucks buff, but I do enjoy a good venti White Choc. Mocha Non-fat w/ Whip (all 580 calories!!!) once in a while. So that's one benefit of living here!! Another thing we've done since we're back is I've taken the kids to the local motel where you can a get a swimming pass for their indoor pool. We've been doing special things throughout the month of Feb. for "Feb. Fun" days in school, so the pool was one of the fun days. And yes that counts as school!!!:) That's one of the benefits of homeschooling!!! You say, "How's that a school day"??? Well it's like this, you do some text books in the morning like math, handwriting, etc. then you go to the pool for Phys. Ed.!!! Add to the fun some cousins (who are also homeschooled) & you have a great time at the pool!! Thanks Sharon, Tim & Michelle for joining us!!
  So like I said, I have been doing some things here in Lanc. that I couldn't do (w/o driving an hr.) in Bradford. And I have been enjoying my larger house here (tho I would not have said I missed it). It's amazing how you adjust to what you have. In Bradford we adapted to the small house because we were excited about our new venture, but now that we've returned I have truly come to appreciate having a bigger house. Gabby is more content in this house (go figure), it seems like she enjoys having more room to roam!! Makayla, on the other hand, who was very excited about returning here, has said several times that she doesn't like it here & she wants to return to the "Gatehouse", "but we can't because Bruce & Joan live in it now"!! She says we could move back & live in the barn again!!! So much drama from a little person!!!
  So all in all we are adjusting & looking forward to what God has for us on the next leg of the journey!! Oh & by the way- the verdict is in, I will keep blogging, at least for now anyway. Because life in general is a journey & if sharing our story helps someone else on their journey then its worth writing it. So if you want to continue on this journey with us you're welcome to come along. I will try to share motivational & inspirational, & of course funny stuff about our family & what we're learning etc. I will probably change the title of the blog but the web address will stay the same- thedutchclan.blogspot.com!!!

The Move

  On your mark, get set, start packing... Yes, that's what we're up to this week. We are packing up, & in a way we are closing this chapter of our lives. Not closing it completely because a part of our hearts will stay here, & we WILL be back to visit from time to time, but we are moving back to our "other" life. We usually joke about the two lives that we have lived between this past year. We'd go home to Lancaster to our friends & belongings there, & then we'd leave & come here to the "other" life. We totally loved & enjoyed this life, but we are preparing to adjust to our old life. The actual "move back" date is January 31st.
  Was our year sucessful in terms of all the projects we had planned to do?? Yes! Dutch feels good about all that he has accomplished on the remodeling end of things. He just completed a project in the barn last week, where he framed, dryed walled, & painted one more area in the barn kitchen. It was an area where alot of cold air came in through an unused door. He closed off that area completely, thus taking away the last of the "drafts" in the kitchen. He has a few "small" projects today & tomorrow, & then by Wed. or Thurs. we hope to get serious about packing our belongings!! Wish we could push a button & have that all finished!!
  How can you help?? First of all by praying that everything goes smoothly, & pray for safe travels! We have a trailer & some guys from Lanc. coming on Mon. to help load up. We could possibly use a hand or two on Tues. in Lanc. to unload- if you're interested, give us a call 570.363.2405. Also there are some ladies in Lanc. that are planning to go in our Lanc. house on the 25th & give it a good cleaning, if you're interested in helping with that, contact my mom at 717.394.6062.
    Folks are asking- What's going to happen at the Haft after you leave, will Bruce & Joan be alone?? Actually in the beginning of Feb. there are two families moving on-site. The one family has applied to be part of the on-site team, the other family is coming here for a 9 month sabbatical & to lay out a vision for the next chapter of their lives. Sooo that is truly an answer to prayer!! We are thankful that Bruce & Joan will not be here alone after we leave!!
  Again we want to thank everyone for your prayers & support throughout this year. We've had alot of visitors who made the trip up here to check out what we're doing! We loved having each of you! Even those of you (you know who you are!!) that came in the 11th hr. :))  What I mean by the 11th hr. is that they almost waited till it was too late!!
  As for my blog in the future- I don't know if I will continue to blog after we return to Lanc. I'm thinking that I probably won't continue w/ it, but have not made a final decision about it. I figure that in Lanc. everybody knows everything about everybody anyway, what's the point of writing about it ;) JK. Seriously tho- I will have to make a decision about that, but in the mean time, thanks to all of you that faithfully followed our lives over this past year, it was a pleasure to have you on the journey with us!!!

D*a*n*g*e*r*o*u*s* WOMEN

  I love when people come up here to the Haft & feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in this place. I love when I go on Facebook after friends have left here & I find a status from one of them that says something like- "was blessed at the Haft" or "had a an awesome weekend at the Haft", because to me that is what this place is all about. It's a place to experience the "Father's love", a place to feel God's presence by being in His awesome creation.
 This weekend was another one of those "God" weekends where He showed up & we were filled with His presence. The ladies retreat was wonderful!! Thanks to all who were praying!! One of the things that always amazes me when I facilitate an event like this- I expect to be giving & serving, & I think that the event isn't as much for me as it is for the people I want to be a blessing to, AND then God turns around & does a work in my own heart- & I end up blessed as much as the group I'm serving.
 Ruthie Lengeman's topic this weekend was about the "spirit of okayness" & she shared her personal testimony of how God delivered her from that. The "spirit of okayness" are lies that women believe that keep them from all that the Father has for them. She also talked about the "Jezebel spirit". And as opposite as these two seem, they both actually stem back to the same root. The information I received this weekend was not new to me, but the revelation I had was. As much as I'd like to think that I've addressed these issues in my life, the reality is that God is never finished with us. There are always areas that He wants to bring into the light if we're willing to go there. I shared with he ladies on Sunday morning how it was revealed to me that I don't like to be vulnerable. I have always told Dutch that I don't need people, & what I mean by that is I don't have a need to have close friends, I'm independent. Which may be true to some degree, but He suggests that I may be like that "to self protect" & "control" my circumstances. (By the way, I'm making myself VERY vulnerable by sharing this!!) And I realize that deep down inside it's possible that I have told myself that if I keep people at arms length, I won't ever get let down or hurt. And I do not write these things on my blog so that people comment & say "no your not like that", I write these things to challenge others to look as things in their own heart, & become transparent. When we are willing to look at these areas in our lives, we can find great freedom & go to new heights with the Father.
 Thank you ladies who made the trip up here for this retreat!! I was thrilled to have you, enjoyed hearing what God is doing in your lives, & I pray your "journey" will continue. You will all become dangerous women for God as you continue to identify & demolish the lies of the enemy, & come to the realization that your true identity is in Christ!!

Qualified for the Job??

  Ever been given a job that you do not feel qualified for? Or maybe you thought you were qualified for the job, but after you took the position you realized you had no idea what it entailed? Well I have found myself in that position. I am the mother of four children, & honestly I had no idea what all was involved with being a mom when I got promoted to the position. Don't get me wrong, I WANTED the position- & even after having several children I thought I had it figured out. My first two kids weren't that hard to train in any area, & so yes, I felt I had mastered this thing called "mothering". But these days I find myself shaking my head more often than not, & I say to myself, "What ever made me think I had the credentials I need to do this job & what made me think I had this figured out"? And to top it off, lately my oldest child reminds me of my inconsistencies with the younger ones ("Mom are you going to let her get away with that"?), & that makes me wonder if I have become lax as a parent, & am I just too easy on the younger two kids- OR are my younger two kids more energetic, & more outgoing, & more demanding then what my older ones were? Even if my younger ones are more high maintenance, should I not still be using the same training techniques that I used with the first two?? Let me paint a scenario for you- Shay & Matt are doing school, one of them as a question & right at this particular moment Gabby chooses to want to be held, I pick her up. MaKayla sees that she is not getting attention at this moment, she seizes her oppurtunity. Suddenly she has one of her many sweet cravings (she has eaten more sweets already in 3 yrs. then the two older ones put together!! ok, that's stretching it). So she whines for a piece of candy, (now remember I'm holding a fussing 1 yr. old, & trying to answer a math question) & MaKayla can be relentless, & persistant. I say "no" to MaKayla, she doesn't take that for an answer, now Gabby sees the candy & wants one too, & the poor child with the math question is rather disturbed by the disturbance. Guess who gets her way? MaKayla. And probably Gabby too. The child with the math question shakes her head!!
   OK, OK so this is just an illustration, but in reality I do have days where I know I'm not consistent, & I wonder about the outcome of my career. But then I remember that, whether qualified or not, being a mother is a HIGH calling. And I have a Father in Heaven that I can call on!! He is proud of us mama's, & He will help us if we just ask Him to. He gave me this job position, & I wouldn't trade it for any other. So since mothering was His idea, I know He has a plan to help me reach my full potential-- by relying on HIM!!!