Staycation

  Dutch and I decided it was time to take a day off. No internet, no phones (cell and 2 landlines were turned off), no screens, no working at the office or the Guest Barn... we wanted a day to spend time together as a family w/o distractions- so on Sunday March 15 at 4:00 pm we UN-PLUGGED. Now a PERFECT "stay"cation (that's what we decided to call it, a vacation right at home) would include quality time together with NO whining and complaining, and NO sibling disagreements etc. This one wasn't perfect in that sense, but it was relaxing. On Sunday evening we did some art projects, and started a puzzle. On Monday morning we slept in a little longer than usual. Then Madison helped me make a eggs, scrapple, and pancakes. And because our art projects were still on the table, we threw a tablecloth on the floor, sat Indian style and ate our breakfast- all part of creating memories. Monday was a glorious day weather wise too, so we took a walk together on one of the shorter Haft hiking trails, played some games and relaxed. It was a really enjoyable 24 hrs.
  Here are a few things I learned.... 1) We ALL need to take a break once in a while!! What we did together as a family- can be done by anyone, all you have to do is a little planning, set a date to do it (a Friday night in to Sat. or whatever) and then stick with your plan!! It's like a mini Sabbatical;), but seriously sometimes families need to be intentional about BEING together, not always DOING together. I'm not saying you should just sit around looking at each other, we did DO stuff together in these 24 hrs., but we were all certainly more present since nobody had any gadgets to distract them. 2) Another thing I discovered is that technology is robbing us!! Again don't get me wrong, technology is amazing, BUT it is a distraction!! I've been asking myself lately if it's really worth it?? Is it worth it to carry my smart phone in my pocket all day and hear every single notification, text, or email that comes through at any given time of the day? Do I really need to be a slave to my phone? Nobody NEEDS me to respond ASAP. Sure, they expect me to, because we live in that era where we reply almost instantly, but really what would happen if I left the phone untouched all morning and only checked it at certain times of the day?? Again as I write this post (and all my previous posts) I am mostly reflecting on what God is speaking to me about, and convicting me of. I don't expect anyone else to make any changes based on my blog, I only write my thoughts and musings. For myself, I have committed to less texting, checking FB, etc. I have been leaving my phone in the bedroom where I charge it and only checking it at certain intervals of the day instead of having it in my pocket all day. I will add this- so far I have loved this new approach. The only time I've made exemptions for having the phone right beside me are when I'm working in The Haft office, it is works better to have my phone next to me as I respond to Haft related texts, emails, etc. 3) The third thing I learned was that kids love to hang out with mom and dad and have their FULL attention. And do you know what else? They don't need long, expensive vacations to faraway places. In fact, sometimes, distance adds to the stress of a vacation. Kids want YOU!! And QUALITY time! They want YOU to be PRESENT- not you half distracted by your phone, ipad or other device. And while faraway places are fun and exciting- kids love vacation at home if they get to be with you.

If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

  We've all heard the saying- "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy... and guess what...  I believe there's some truth to that. Recently I've been so convicted about how my mood sets the tone for the whole family, whether I like it or not. And add to that that the way I start my morning sets the tone for my entire day!! Sooo therefore if I wake up and I feel a step on behind from the get go, or if I feel overwhelmed first thing in the morning... I'm probably going to respond negatively to nearly any situation that arises and just like that I've set the tone for 5 other people in my house (well make that 6 since hubby's office is in the basement and the way me or the kids are feeling usually affects daddy as well). Wow! That's a lot on one's shoulders!! So whether I want to set the tone in my home or not is not really the question, the bottom line is: as a mother I do set it. I have the ability to create peace or calm, stress or chaos, joy or sadness, positive or negative. Why? Because my ACTIONS are being WATCHED and my WORDS HAVE POWER- power to bring life or death!!  Proverbs 15:1 also talks about the WAY in which we respond has an affect on people... "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." So it's not just what we say, but HOW we say it... softly or harshly. UGH! I don't think I signed up for that much responsibility when I took the plunge into parenthood...
   Being a mother is job that needs to be taken seriously!! It doesn't have to be a burden, but it needs to be something that we are doing with help from a Higher Power. But since I tend to "wing" things, I find myself trying to "wing" mothering too. I find myself trying to snag an extra few minutes of sleep in the morning instead of getting up before the kids to have quiet time with The Father. THAT is usually my first mistake of the day!!! Despite the fact that I KNOW the importance of "turning to Jesus" first thing, and I KNOW what a difference 5 or 10 minutes of prayer, before my feet hit the floor, can make... I LOVE to sleep a little longer in the morning... but is it worth it?? Is it worth it to sleep longer, skip my quiet time, drink my coffee on the go, AND try to juggle breakfast... all the while kicking myself for starting my day like this AGAIN? Every time I do this, the frustration mounts, I snap at my kids to get moving and get started with school and wa-la... I have once again succeeded in creating a tense, hurried, frustrated atmosphere!! I'm speaking to myself people!!! I'm being transparent here!!
   As a homeschool mom I have flexibility... I CAN sleep a little longer if I choose to, and sometimes I do. BUT I am keenly aware that often times my lack of discipline causes me to be stressed or frustrated, thus causing that kind of atmosphere in my home, and ultimately creating children who respond to each other in ways I never dreamed "my children";) would.
   Am I ok with the role we mamas play on a regular basis? NO! I told my kids recently that "It's not fair that we can't just have a day where we can be grumpy and it doesn't effect everyone else!!" I said, "Just because I'm talking in this tone of voice doesn't mean anyone else can!!!" But it doesn't work that way!! We can't tell them how to act, we have to model it. And I know we can't always be happy, all the time... but the truth is- a mamas attitude affects her entire family.