Christmas Letter 2015

The King of Kings was born in a BARN- a smelly, damp animal barn. Think about that!! Poor young Mary was nearly nine month pregnant when she made that long trek to Bethlehem. Here we are so busy picking out the perfect gifts to put in our plush, already cluttered homes. We are trying to create a magical season that is far removed from the way it all began over 2,000 years ago. Don’t get me wrong… I LOVE this season!! But it struck me recently, the reality of what really took place that December night in Bethlehem. As I pondered, I realized I really do want to make this season celebratory, but keep it revolved around things that really matter. Jesus- the Saviour of the world was born that night. The greatest gift ever given!!

  Here’s a quick family update though I’m not sure much has changed from last year….

  Dutch & I are still Directors at a ministry called The Haft in Bradford Co. PA. Our job ranges from administrative duties, to prayer ministry, to facilitating retreats, to cooking for groups, to keeping the outdoor wood furnaces burning, to everything in between. If you ever wonder if we’re just sitting in the hills of the Endless Mts. twiddling our thumbs, guess again!! J

  ShaLyn- will be a teenager in a few months. I’d say she’s already showing signs of it. Her responses some days have me shaking my head and asking, “Where is my cute, little, innocent Shay.” Besides the teenage drama though, she really is a gem. Super capable, motivated, & for the most part quite responsible. She’s in her 7^th year of homeschooling! She has used the Abeka Academy DVDs the last 3 years, and LOVES it. She says she’s moving to Pensacola, FL. someday to attend their college. We’ll see about that!! Her bucket list of things to do/become in the future continues to grow. I’m excited to see just what it is that the Lord leads her to in life.

  Madison- the child that keeps our house from being overrun with girl drama. He keeps me updated on all things football. He “plays” football by himself every day down in the basement. Its all imaginery, of course, but it keeps him entertained for long periods of time. Most of the time he’s the easy going child. I really do love his personality. A big highlight for him this year was the November Youth for Jesus retreat we had here. He had an encounter with the Holy Spirit like never before. He said that week was the best week of his life!!

  MaKayla- the middle child!! For some reason she has this idea that the older kids pick on her- that may or may not be true;) I am finding that she does have a really tender heart though, and far too often it gets hurt. A highlight for MaKayla and I this year was taking a quick trip (with my mom & sis) to TN. to surprise my oldest sister, Anne, for her 50^th birthday!! MaKayla felt so honored that she got to go along. All the other kids, except Gracie, had to stay home with dad. MaKayla thanked me several times on that trip for “picking” her to go along.

  Gabby- the child that made me question my parenting ability. Need I say more?? She’s little and feisty, and has a lot of spunk. She tells me she’s going to go to gymnastic when she’s 8!? I’m guessing she’d be a natural. One of the hardest things for Gabby is when the other kids are doing school and Gracie is napping- Gabby gets sooo bored. She follows me around, asking me to play games with her. A mama can only do that for so long…

  Gracie- turned two on Thanksgiving Day and SHE IS WALKING!! It was sooo long in coming!! She finally managed the art of balancing herself despite the fact she only sees with her one eye and only part of that eye has vision!! What an incredible brain she has (we all have really!), to be able to piece together her little world and do most of the things a typical two year old can do. She climbs onto the kitchen counter, the bathroom counter, and out of her Pak N’ Play. She is the most loveable, cuddliest child you can imagine.

    A family highlight this year was a camping trip we took to a campground not too far from here. We had our first experience camping in a camper!! That suits me much better than a tent. We all agreed it would be fun to take an RV and travel for a few months, picking campgrounds as we go, sightseeing, etc. We chalked it up as a dream we’ll pursue in the future.

  Overall, we have had a good year! Every year brings with it it’s challenges & surprises- perhaps the biggest surprise for us this year was finding out that we are having Baby #6, due to arrive the end of May!!

                                                                                                   Celebrating Jesus!!!

          dutch, rosa, shay, matt, makayla, gabby, gracie

   

If you ever get invited...

  Oh my!! It has been a LONG time since I blogged!! But it has never been far from my mind. I often find myself thinking, "I should blog once again"... so here I am- I'm about to blog about something I've become very passionate about!!!

  We just got home from South Carolina where we helped to minister at a "Mystery of Marriage" retreat. This retreat is one we also offer here at The Haft twice a year. This marriage retreat is focused on soo much more than MARRIAGE. Believe it or not at every single one of these retreats the body of Christ is exemplified because we dare to be real and the Heavenly Father does amazing things as we share, cry, & LAUGH together. By the end of the week, we all become more like a family then a bunch of individual couples.

  I think one of the things I love about these retreats is the way they stretch me. The spiritual growth that comes out of it is incredible. I recommend anyone that is stuck in a rut, wanting more of "Spirit filled" walk with Jesus, and just hungry to be more intimate with the Father, to attend one of these events. So many believers walk around with a lot of head knowledge, but it is the experiential encounters that fill us with a passion to continue on the journey. Those who EXPERIENCE an encounter with The Father are never the same.

  Yes, a week is a long time. And yes, asking someone to care for your children for a week is a long time!! I'll be the first mama to admit that putting my children in someone elses care is not one of the things I do well. But the invest in our marriage and spiritual growth is so worth it!! I believe our children benefit first hand from this investment. When husband and wife are walking in agreement, and leading a "Holy Spirit led" walk of life, it gives the kids a better foundation for their own future. I know kids have to make their own choices to choose to follow God or not, the parents walk won't save them- but I believe we as parents can directly impact those choices.

  As I wrap up this post... we are actually gearing up for another Mystery of Marriage starting tonight here at The Haft. It runs from tonight to next Saturday. Please keep us in your prayers and should you ever find a "You've been invited to a Mystery of Marriage" letter in your mailbox, consider joining us. And if you've never received a special invite but you're interested in attending one, please let us know....

Putting Heart & Soul Into Our Kids

I have this idea- what if every parent made their family their mission field? What if they made it their goal to raise good moral children to love God, themselves, and others. What if they took parenting REALLY serious? And instead of being focused on themselves, or being busy in their little world, hanging out with their friends, spending too much precious time on the internet, dropping the kids off at babysitters so they can go do their thing w/o the "inconvenience" of the noisy kids, using any means of electronics to be their babysitter... and on and on- what if instead they would stop and see that the little people who have been entrusted to them are a high calling from God and are their responsibility to RAISE?? By raise I mean- teach, admonish (sounds like a word from the Old Testament;)), train, say "No" to sometimes, love, spend time with, set goals with, and talk about things in life that REALLY MATTER.  If we all saw our family as a mission field, wouldn't we need less counselors?? Wouldn't there be less Pastors burned-out? Wouldn't there be less crime? Less bullying? We need counselors because children are growing up neglected, and Pastors are burning out trying to help families that are falling apart, and people are being hateful and committing awful crimes because they are screaming for love and attention.

Okay I realize my message comes a little late in life. America's moral decline has already created such chaos in families that a large percent of this generation is not even capable of raising a family, because they haven't been "raised" themselves. They been neglected, beaten, threatened, mis-treated, and basically destroyed by their busy, uncaring parents or relatives, and "raised" by Hollywood and a plethora of other sources that the enemy has devised to destroy their mind and soul. I get it that my message is a little late. I realize for a large percent of America- it's, it's, well it's almost too late.

But what about the rest of us? Let's bring this back and take a look at those of us who were raised differently then what I described above. I know a lot of us, particularly ones that read this blog, were raised in good homes, functional ones at least. What about us? Are we taking the raising of OUR FAMILIES seriously? We have so much to offer our kids, and our kids are the next generation!!! You can say I'm always talking about the family, and you can write me off completely if you tire of my rants, but it is SOO important that we GET THIS!! If we want children that are going to walk with Jesus (not just know ABOUT Him), kids who are going to stand for Him no matter what they face, and who are not going to get sucked in by everything that the world has to offer- then we better rise to the occasion. We better do things differently. We had better fall to our knees, and parent like we mean it!! I'm not saying I have a certain formula that will create foul proof kids, BUT I know the Word says, " ...a child left to himself, bringeth his mother to shame." Prov. 29:15  In other words if children aren't taught restraint, self-control, and taught that the world doesn't revolve around them, there could be problems down the road. We live in self absorbed world!! Kids need to be taught truth and righteousness at home- not just grow up on Veggie Tales and Sunday School... (not that I am opposed to either of those) but somehow it seems we count on "things" to teach our kids instead of us as parents. There are MANY things out there, some are ever so subtle, that are vying for our kids hearts, focus, and devotion. And it is way too easy to just succumb to whatever gadget works to keep the kids "happy" or "quiet" so we can get our work done.

I also realize that we only have a short time frame to shape our kids and then comes that point where you have to trust God and trust that you did your best, and you have to let them fly. They will have to CHOOSE to embrace to live out what you've taught them. That's why it's so important to put heart and soul into raising and teaching them when they're young. Don't let movies, Hollywood, video games, phones and app, computers and internet be their teachers. Be involved in their lives and their world from little up. Limit the time they spend in front of screens. Pick and choose YOUR friends so your kids will have a godly influence. Be willing to say "No" to things in your own life sometimes if they have a negative influence on your family. Do things to strengthen your marriage so your kids see what it means to make a marriage last. Teach your kids truth. Talk to them about hard things, real life things. Teach them that the world doesn't revolve around them. Give your kids every chance to not only survive, but THRIVE in a crazy world!! And I do realize that the outcome of our children is not solely in our hands, but I'm calling us forth as parents to stand up, to lead, to be strong in the Lord. It takes sacrifice, it takes gut, it takes heart & soul.


Disclaimer: I do not profess to have "THE ANSWERS", nor do I think I myself have it figured out. I am a parent in the thick of it, in the heat of the battle along with you. My goal is to inspire, encourage, and motivate others to not give up. I am a fellow soldier, and I'm cheering for you as a parent.

Staycation

  Dutch and I decided it was time to take a day off. No internet, no phones (cell and 2 landlines were turned off), no screens, no working at the office or the Guest Barn... we wanted a day to spend time together as a family w/o distractions- so on Sunday March 15 at 4:00 pm we UN-PLUGGED. Now a PERFECT "stay"cation (that's what we decided to call it, a vacation right at home) would include quality time together with NO whining and complaining, and NO sibling disagreements etc. This one wasn't perfect in that sense, but it was relaxing. On Sunday evening we did some art projects, and started a puzzle. On Monday morning we slept in a little longer than usual. Then Madison helped me make a eggs, scrapple, and pancakes. And because our art projects were still on the table, we threw a tablecloth on the floor, sat Indian style and ate our breakfast- all part of creating memories. Monday was a glorious day weather wise too, so we took a walk together on one of the shorter Haft hiking trails, played some games and relaxed. It was a really enjoyable 24 hrs.
  Here are a few things I learned.... 1) We ALL need to take a break once in a while!! What we did together as a family- can be done by anyone, all you have to do is a little planning, set a date to do it (a Friday night in to Sat. or whatever) and then stick with your plan!! It's like a mini Sabbatical;), but seriously sometimes families need to be intentional about BEING together, not always DOING together. I'm not saying you should just sit around looking at each other, we did DO stuff together in these 24 hrs., but we were all certainly more present since nobody had any gadgets to distract them. 2) Another thing I discovered is that technology is robbing us!! Again don't get me wrong, technology is amazing, BUT it is a distraction!! I've been asking myself lately if it's really worth it?? Is it worth it to carry my smart phone in my pocket all day and hear every single notification, text, or email that comes through at any given time of the day? Do I really need to be a slave to my phone? Nobody NEEDS me to respond ASAP. Sure, they expect me to, because we live in that era where we reply almost instantly, but really what would happen if I left the phone untouched all morning and only checked it at certain times of the day?? Again as I write this post (and all my previous posts) I am mostly reflecting on what God is speaking to me about, and convicting me of. I don't expect anyone else to make any changes based on my blog, I only write my thoughts and musings. For myself, I have committed to less texting, checking FB, etc. I have been leaving my phone in the bedroom where I charge it and only checking it at certain intervals of the day instead of having it in my pocket all day. I will add this- so far I have loved this new approach. The only time I've made exemptions for having the phone right beside me are when I'm working in The Haft office, it is works better to have my phone next to me as I respond to Haft related texts, emails, etc. 3) The third thing I learned was that kids love to hang out with mom and dad and have their FULL attention. And do you know what else? They don't need long, expensive vacations to faraway places. In fact, sometimes, distance adds to the stress of a vacation. Kids want YOU!! And QUALITY time! They want YOU to be PRESENT- not you half distracted by your phone, ipad or other device. And while faraway places are fun and exciting- kids love vacation at home if they get to be with you.

If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy

  We've all heard the saying- "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy... and guess what...  I believe there's some truth to that. Recently I've been so convicted about how my mood sets the tone for the whole family, whether I like it or not. And add to that that the way I start my morning sets the tone for my entire day!! Sooo therefore if I wake up and I feel a step on behind from the get go, or if I feel overwhelmed first thing in the morning... I'm probably going to respond negatively to nearly any situation that arises and just like that I've set the tone for 5 other people in my house (well make that 6 since hubby's office is in the basement and the way me or the kids are feeling usually affects daddy as well). Wow! That's a lot on one's shoulders!! So whether I want to set the tone in my home or not is not really the question, the bottom line is: as a mother I do set it. I have the ability to create peace or calm, stress or chaos, joy or sadness, positive or negative. Why? Because my ACTIONS are being WATCHED and my WORDS HAVE POWER- power to bring life or death!!  Proverbs 15:1 also talks about the WAY in which we respond has an affect on people... "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." So it's not just what we say, but HOW we say it... softly or harshly. UGH! I don't think I signed up for that much responsibility when I took the plunge into parenthood...
   Being a mother is job that needs to be taken seriously!! It doesn't have to be a burden, but it needs to be something that we are doing with help from a Higher Power. But since I tend to "wing" things, I find myself trying to "wing" mothering too. I find myself trying to snag an extra few minutes of sleep in the morning instead of getting up before the kids to have quiet time with The Father. THAT is usually my first mistake of the day!!! Despite the fact that I KNOW the importance of "turning to Jesus" first thing, and I KNOW what a difference 5 or 10 minutes of prayer, before my feet hit the floor, can make... I LOVE to sleep a little longer in the morning... but is it worth it?? Is it worth it to sleep longer, skip my quiet time, drink my coffee on the go, AND try to juggle breakfast... all the while kicking myself for starting my day like this AGAIN? Every time I do this, the frustration mounts, I snap at my kids to get moving and get started with school and wa-la... I have once again succeeded in creating a tense, hurried, frustrated atmosphere!! I'm speaking to myself people!!! I'm being transparent here!!
   As a homeschool mom I have flexibility... I CAN sleep a little longer if I choose to, and sometimes I do. BUT I am keenly aware that often times my lack of discipline causes me to be stressed or frustrated, thus causing that kind of atmosphere in my home, and ultimately creating children who respond to each other in ways I never dreamed "my children";) would.
   Am I ok with the role we mamas play on a regular basis? NO! I told my kids recently that "It's not fair that we can't just have a day where we can be grumpy and it doesn't effect everyone else!!" I said, "Just because I'm talking in this tone of voice doesn't mean anyone else can!!!" But it doesn't work that way!! We can't tell them how to act, we have to model it. And I know we can't always be happy, all the time... but the truth is- a mamas attitude affects her entire family.

Be Inspired

I love to inspire others- Not just to new heights spiritually, but in everyday living, in parenting, in homeschooling, whatever it may be… I love to pass on ideas and tidbits that I’ve gleaned over time. So here is a multi-subjected blog post, meant to inspire you—

ON FOOD CREATIVITY-

  A few months ago, we were given lots of groceries from a food distribution group called “Blessings of Hope”. Some of the items were real “gems”… foods I use on a regular basis and they were very useful. Other items needed some creativity to get them used up. For instance, boxes (and I mean lots of them) of Choco Rice Krispy cereal. While my two little girls actually like these for breakfast, my other kids do not. And I’m not a huge fan of starting out the morning with that type of breakfast, SOOO how could I make use of these boxes of cereal?? Two ways- Crunch Bars and Granola Bars… both recipes call for Rice Krispys and choc. chip. So we omitted the chocolate chips and used the Choco Rice Krispys instead. It worked great and saved me the step of melting the chocolate chips! Pretty cool.

 Another item was Philadelphia cream cheese. But it was not regular cream cheese, it was “brown sugar and cinnamon” or something along that line. You can use a certain amount of that on bagels, etc. but after bit you need to get creative to use the last few tubs of it. I decided to make the “Cheese Danish” that calls for Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, cream cheese and a few other ingredients. The recipe calls for original cream cheese, but we used the “brown sugar and something” brand instead. It was actually really good, in fact, I might choose to make it that way every time.

  The last item that called for creativity was- “Pillsbury BLUEBERRY Buttermilk Biscuits”. Again you can eat a certain amount of these as biscuits to compliment some foods, but when you have as many as we had, you’d better think of other ways to use them. We chose to make “donuts” out of them. Pop them open, cut each biscuit in pieces (we cut them in 6ths), and fry them in hot oil (I actually used olive oil for this, but vegetable works too). They are good to eat just like this, BUT to take this over the top… toss them in some powdered sugar. YUM!!

 

ON HOMESCHOOLING-

 I am probably one of the most laid back homeschool moms!! By this I mean, I don’t grade every paper or test, I don’t do everything by the book, and I don’t have everything organizedJ. Don’t get me wrong, we start school every day by 8:00, take a break at 10:00, eat lunch at 12:00 and wrap everything up (most days) by 1:30. We have a structure, BUT we try to keep it simple and have fun. If my kids are getting the concept, and understanding the principle being taught I am satisfied.

 Here’s a fun idea for spelling tests once in a while… you can purchase a kind of crayon that’s made to write on glass. If you have a glass patio door or a nice big window in your house that your kids can write on, allow them to do their spelling test on that instead of writing it on paper!! Keep it fun. Keep it simple.

 

ON CHILD TRAINING-

  I don’t have this one figured out yet, but thought I’d share a couple creative training moments that took place recently…

Madison will tell you he’s not a “people person”. Don’t make him answer a knock on the door or the ringing phone, instead he’ll just go find mom. Phone calls sometimes get missed because he doesn’t get to mom on time and people are left knocking on the door because mom is nowhere to be found at the moment. So in an effort to “train” Matt in these areas, we got creative. I told him that we were going to do an “answer the door” drill- I knocked on the schoolroom door and wanted him to stop his school DVD, take off his headphones, and come to the door. I asked him to open it and ask me what he could do for me. Well, Matt’s stubbornness (wonder where he gets that??) (his dad of course;)) kicked in!! He attempted several times to follow the action steps I had laid out, but he would half drag himself to the door and mumble when he opened it. We went over this several times, until he got it right. The funny part is- older sister was standing in the other doorway watching this go down. She was smirking. And brother was not happy about it. Her being there watching did not help brother’s attitude or stubbornness. I could have made her go away, but instead I told Madison to stop worrying about her, complete this exercise, and I would deal with Shay later. And that’s what we did… Madison finally came to the door the way I had asked, opened it and in his most grown up voice asked,- “What can I do for you?”. Bravo! And as for Shay... She stayed to watch… but THEN Shay HAD to stay LONGER!! Yep, I told her since she liked to stand in that doorway smiling so much, she could just hang out there for a while until I came back and told her she could go. Well, the first time I came back, (probably 5 minutes later or so), I asked if she was still having fun?? She said smartly, “YEP”!! I said, “OK wonderful, I’ll be back later”. She groaned realizing I was out to make her regret her smart reply. I left her there a while longer, and let’s just say that when I came back the next time, she readily agreed that standing in the doorway isn’t everything its cracked up to be:) and she was ready to do something better with her time. Both Shay and Matt had a training session that they wouldn’t soon forget:).

 Now I don’t always do those kinds of things, but some times when I want to make a point in a creative way, I come up with a creative idea. Another area we had to drill Madison recently was to answer the phone. It was his habit to bring me the ringing phone… and right when he got to me, he’d push the answer button and hold it to my ear instead of just answering and telling the person he’d get his mom or dad. Let’s just say we missed a few phone calls this way, and then we’d have to call people back (which isn’t terrible, but slightly annoying). So the last time (notice I said last time, because he doesn’t do it anymore) he did this, I made him return the phone call. We have caller ID so I knew who had called. I told him to call the person, tell them that we missed the call because he wouldn’t answer it, and that he would get whoever it was that they were calling to talk to. Again Matt got stubborn!! No way! He was NOT going to call them back. Guess what, mom can get stubborn too. I told him he wasn’t doing anything the rest of the evening until the phone call was made. About 60 min. later, when he finally decided to make the call, he got the person’s answering machine, he said- “Hi Dave, this is Madison. I’m sorry we missed your call because….” And he proceeded to tell why we missed the call, and that his dad was indeed home if he wanted to call back. Lesson learned. Guess who answers our phone without hesitation now?? Madison. :)

 You can say I’m mean or crazy, but like Dr. James Dobson says, “Parenting isn’t for cowards”!!

 

Be blessed.